I am writing this book because I suck at three things.
I hope that after spending enough time to write a short book on it, maybe, just maybe, I’ll suck a little less at these things.
At best, I am that selfish kid who eats the last timbit even though I have already had more than everyone else.
I’m just trying to get better here, and obviously you are too. Let’s get into the story.
So it started last year.
My new years resolution was to meditate. Finally.
I had spent my entire life quite a bit less than being calm. I actually spent more of it angry.
I still can’t figure out if it was as much of an anger problem as it was a control problem, or energy problem. Probably all three.
Regardless, I was a maniac.
I would run away all the time. I remember one afternoon I found myself in someone’s backyard.
I was so mad that I ran away from my problems. Literally.
I had run into the backyard of a house across from my primary school.
I’ll never forget my teacher trying to convince me to come back. I wanted to stay away. Plus, it had a nice garden.
The way they did it in primary school was with pink slips. When I got angry and hurt someone, or something, they would give me a pink slip.
They’d sit me down, and tell me not to be as angry. And the whole thing would happen all over again.
For all four years of primary school, I got a couple pink slips every year.
I’ll never forget my last one, in April of my last year. I was so upset about it. I was so close. One year no pink slip. I was convinced I had overcome my anger.
But I definitely hadn’t.
It continued throughout elementary school, but instead of getting pink slips, I would get something much worse: social awkwardness.
Just like I had done before, I would run away when I got angry at someone.
I would never hit them, I would just run away. I didn’t like to be violent.
But this time, the teacher wouldn’t come and get me. Nor would I get a pink slip.
I would just blow up, everyone would stare, and I would run away.
I would always hate coming back, because everyone would always stare at me. I would feel so awkward. They would feel so scared of me.
It was really isolating.
Even into high school, I remember playing a card game for the first time with a friend of mine.
I remember realizing how out of control I was of myself.
Every time I lost, I would get angry. Every time.
I hoped I wouldn’t lose, so she wouldn’t see that part of me. But I lost.
Eventually, I thought I grew out of it.
In high school, I wouldn’t have episodes at school, but instead at home.
Instead of getting angry at other people or things that happened, I would get mad at myself.
Mad is an understatement. I would get furious.
I had such a stressed relationships with who I was.
It was the anger that explained it all. I mean what is anger after all?
Anger is not accepting the world for how it is.
Anger is getting upset at something you don’t like.
Anger is never fun.
What is fun is winning. Change is fun. Improving is fun.
It was about high school when I realized that the only thing to stop me from being angry was to fix the things I was getting angry about.
I didn’t realize fully my ability to influence the world.
The only thing stopping me was myself.
So, I stopped being angry, and started changing things.
Instead of getting mad at the world, I would just change it. I would put in work, and I would fix what needed to be fixed.
This ended up working extremely well.
I achieved my school goals, fitness goals, and social goals.
I grew as a person and became extremely happy.
So it turned out, it wasn’t an anger problem.
And it wasn’t an energy problem either.
It was a control problem.
This brings us to the core of this book: control.
The reality is, we always have control over ourselves and our abilities to change the world.
Sometimes it feels like we don’t have this.
Sometimes it feels like we are out of control.
Notice how this is not true. We are always in control.
Sometimes we get tricked out of this though. Anger tricked me.
Notice something here though: once I got control of the one thing that was messing me up, I became extremely happy.
Now this might be the case for you, that you have one thing getting in the way of you realizing the control you have over your life.
This is worth thinking about.
This is my goal of this book: to provide you with the awareness that you have control over your life, and the tools to help get this control.
I will share a system that has helped me gain this control, but it is not perfect.
It is, however, based on principles demonstrated by the story.
The first principle is letting go.
We must let go of our problems with the world. Simply getting mad at it will do nothing. Complaining can be safely eliminated from our habits, and we can continue towards happiness.
This relates to the story in a way you might not be able to see: when I let go of my anger, I became closer to the world.
We must let go of what’s separating us from the world. We must become closer to reality by letting go of what separates us from it.
This is why meditation has been so helpful to me. It helps me become aware of my thoughts, of the lingering ones I haven’t dealt with; the lingering feelings I haven’t felt, and the lingering actions I have not executed on.
Once I identify these things, letting them go is a lot easier.
By becoming aware of what’s separating me from the world, through meditation, I can become more calm, and more influential in the world.
There is less wasting energy. All my action now goes into energy helping the world, since I am so in tune with it.
With meditation and a focus on letting go, I am able to become happier.
The key to make this happen though was taking action.
Without action, I would have been stuck in my anger forever. But action on the right things.
I identified anger as my biggest problem, and I solved it.
I regained control through identification and action.
I let go of my weakness: anger, and moved closer to myself.
The greatest problem I have faced in recent years is making lists.
I would have lists on lists on lists on lists on lists.
I would make lists for everything, and never get to the bottom of them.
I always had something “to-do”.
Unfortunate really, because I never got to where I wanted to be.
I was always chasing my to-do’s.
I was out of control.
My to-do’s controlled me. I didn’t control them.
Without control, my life stopped becoming what I wanted it to be.
I was getting things done, but I never really had time to set the direction for where I wanted to go.
So I wandered.
I got quite lost actually, getting caught up in the distractions of being a young person.
Of course, these are important parts of being young. I don’t regret them one bit.
In fact, at the time, I thought I loved every second of them.
And maybe I did, I am not sure.
But what I am sure about is that lists suck. I always have had them.
They suck because they separate us from the world. They distract us from taking action by teaching us that we can live in the future.
With bunch of things to do, we put them on a list, and it feels like we have done them all.
The problem is: they wouldn’t all get done.
I always felt like I was behind. I always felt like I was reaching for something. Chasing.
Nothing felt good enough.
Again, once I identified what was getting in my way, I was able to move forward.
The very process I was using to live my life didn’t work.
Lists made me think about things more than doing them.
It directed me away from taking action. So, big things never got done.
But, I got to writing this book, so I must have figured something out.
The Gow Now Cow system is part of what I used to get me there, but it’s only one part.
The other parts of the story are almost more important.
Taking action, a commitment to improving oneself, letting go of what you can’t change, and affecting what you have influence over.
These are all necessary to use the Gow Now Cow system effectively.
With no more deferring who you want to become, you can experience yourself right now.
Without lists, I have regained control over my energy, and become set on where I have wanted to go for years.
It’s just a coincidence that exactly where I wanted to go was to write this book.
As I journey forward, learning as much as I can, and sharing it in the easiest to absorb way for you, I simultaneously become closer to myself.
And if my sharing goes along with your accepting, both of our lives become better.
But this is the key: we are a team.
I am in this just as much as you are. If you want to read this book and have your life stay the same, put it down now.
The first step is a willingness to change, and an openness to what will bring you there.
It might be this book.
It might also be your family, or a particular friend, or letting go of anger, or lists.
But it is probably the only thing common to all of those things.
It is yourself.
So skootch over, and I’m hopping on the dinosaur of your life as we venture into making you better.
Are you ready?
P.S. If you'd be interested in reading a book delving deeper into some of the concepts mentioned above, tell me! I'll make it for you. firstname.lastname@example.org