It is a known cognitive bias that we feel losses more than we feel equivalent wins.
You would rather not lose $5 than find $5 on the ground.
You would rather not lose a friend, than gain one of equal value.
You feel better when you just miss losing your job, than you do when you get a new one.
You feel worse when you lose an important document than when you find one.
You experience the most pain when you get screwed over, and comparably less joy than when you succeed to the same degree.
Stop caring about your losses, and start focusing on your wins.
1. Stop caring about your losses.
You don't realize it in the moment yet, but you can teach yourself to recognize when you're grossly overreacting to losing. Losing possessions, dignity, money, strength - losing anything will always cause a greater negative response than is necessary and appropriate.
Develop a supernatural ability to let go.
If you can learn to let things go, denying losses the energy they fiend for, you'll have much more energy for the important things in life: wins.
2. Start focusing on your wins.
In poker, the best players will lose $30,000,000, and win $31,000,000. If you focus on winning more than you lose, it doesn't matter how much you lose, as long as you're winning more.
The Pareto principle (or 80/20 rule) is one of many rules in life that shows it only matters if you get a few things right. Sometimes even just one thing. If you can figure out what the force multipliers are to get you to where you want to be, focusing exclusively on those will balance out whatever losses you incur in the process.
It's scary to let things go. It's scary to not get everything done, to let things fall through the cracks. If you want to live the life you want, and if you want to live it with ease, you have to have the courage to decide what is important to you - what winning looks like - and the courage to let bad things happen.
Recognize your real blinds spots as the flawed human being you are.
Hedge against them. Focus on the wins. Happily let the losses slide.
And watch your wins win.
I love writing for you, and would love some help learning more about what you like reading!
If you have some article ideas - problems you're having that you want some help with - I would love you to send them to me here.
P.S. Don't forget to sign up for my e-mail list below to be notified of new articles, books, and other projects!