Often I find myself falling victim to the trap of thinking escaping reality to hide in stories I tell myself in my head about reality is actually a move to a place of greater safety. This intellectual exploration today is aimed at proving to myself (and you) why this logic (based on emotions not facts of reality) is false.
I hope you enjoy :)
You tell yourself stories about reality all the time.
That Joe is 110% going to rip you a new one if you tell him about that thing you did that you weren’t supposed to do.
Or your parents are going to completely disapprove of your new job.
Maybe all your friends are going to make fun of you for that blog you have but haven’t told anyone about.
All stories are exactly that: stories.
STORIES ARE NOT REALITY.
But your mind treats them as such.
You friends are going to make fun of you if they see your blog?
Well then you’re going to do everything in your power to ensure they never find out about it.
You’re also going to live in constant fear of them finding out, since bad things will happen if they do.
Acting as if anything but reality is true leads to disassociation and disconnection from relationships.
The goal state, as my mentor described, is this:
To be so connected to reality that you don’t have the time or energy to make up an alternative.
Now that is the goal.
How do you do this?
Nothing is ever more important than the present. Ever.
If you stay in the present, you won’t have time to indulge your storytelling habit.
In my own life, I find myself most easily telling stories when any sort of disapproval is involved.
When I can feel someone is about to tell me I’ve done someone wrong, or is in the process of telling someone else, I start to have my storytelling wheel spin out of control.
At its core, storytelling is a defense mechanism we use to protect ourselves against negative emotions.
With enough stories created, we’re able to create sufficient distance between ourselves and the negative emotions in reality that we must face.
As the great Ronnie Coleman liked to say: